Of Dayonim and Judges

Just as I was getting my blood pressure down after pesach, I have been asked whether I have read this week's "Voice of Anglo-Jewish Orhodoxy".  Now obviously people with blood pressure shouldn't really come within 5 miles of the JT, but I confess that in moments of weakness, I need the laugh.  This past week hasn't been one of those though, so how could I have known what I was missing? 

Lying here in hospital having my blood pressure stabilised, I know now.  On p35 of the said Voice, Judge Leonard Gerber has set out his vision of Anglo-Jewry under Charedi rule.  It is priceless.  A Shakespearean farce without all the fancy language, the essence of it is that the next Chief Rabbi needs to be acceptable to "Anglo-Jewish Orthodoxy".  As such, academic credentials without having adequate knowledge of halocho or having a suitable Yeshiva background would mean the office-holder did not have the "allegiance necessary".

Pardon???  Is it not the case that "Anglo-Jewish Orthodoxy", which I understand to mean the Adass Yisroel, Kedassia etc set up all its own institutions back in the last century specifically to avoid interacting with mainstream Anglo-Jewry??  Now it expects the next Chief Rabbi to represent its style of orthodoxy?!!?!!  Get real man! 

The fact is that we in the UOHC set up our stall in the face of Anglo-Jewish England and "our ways are not their ways", so why on earth should our criteria be taken into account in the selection of a suitable post-holder?  Whoever he is needs to have allegiance to those paying his salary surely, not to those who don't support the institutions of Anglo-Jewry (eg the Beth-Din).  (The nurse is here telling me to lie still and stop foaming at the bit or I might not live long....)

For my part, I don't see why Anglo-Jewry can't be led by a learned female spiritual leader, and I know a woman who is learned, spiritual, spirited and a real leader of men.....

The Iron Lady, a"h

Can't help noticing the irony:  she died on kaf-ches Nissan (28th), spelling KO'ACH (strength).  It was all in the name!

If You Need The Dough . . . .

Can I open my eyes yet?  Is it all over?  Can I get back to blogging or are some of us still coming out of Egypt?   Well I need to get this aired as soon as possible because I've had it on my mind for over a week so I must proceed: 

Picture a house that is from roof to roots, Kosher Le'Pesach.  Every inch and millimetre either toiveled, sold or paskened about, and every food item signed for, sealed and stamped with KLP ink.  Now imagine the magnificent seder plate, the glorious table, the bright rooms, the shining faces, the whole of pesach stretching out before us like a week in Utopia. 

Upon this scene in walks some kind of joke, wrapped in a packet of green foil housing a snack marked KOSHER FOR PASSOVER and bearing the name of a Rabbi.  The ingredients are barely edible even without pesach considerations, but when I got to  "....yeast extract" I almost choked.

Yeast extract??  Does this mean I could be putting marmite on my matzah??  Or that this hechsher is worthless and our home has been unwittingly defiled (after all our combined efforts) ???  Or is it as I learnt at one of the shiurim posted on this blog before the festival began:  that chometz hasn't been definitively defined yet so we can't prepare for pesach properly even if we start 3 years in advance?

In future, before I spend any money on a hechsher, I will ask the approving rabbi/authority to verify that the hechsher is worth its weight in gold.