STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS

   I take this opportunity to point out that the Joe Bloggs from "If you tickle us" is not me.  My name is really Ms. Joe Blogs.   Moving on, if you have been sitting quietly in a corner down at the Slap and Tickle recently, trying to make sense of what you over-hear (as distinct from over here), let me explain:-

    The RCH problem seems to have opened a can of worms.  Various individuals and communities aligned to the Union of Orthodox Hebrew Congregations (UHOC), felt strongly (as in extra-strong chrayne) that the Union had failed to take swift and appropriate action regarding RCH's marriage guidance for married women.  Anger turned to the Union, and suddenly RCH was buried in the snow, replaced by Union politics on a grand scale.  Kedassia, the kashrus arm of that body, was first up for the slaughter; followed swiftly by burials, schools, mikvos, and lack of education for boys.  Every aspect of life in Stamford Bridge went under the microscope, and boy were there worms!

   Here at The Kashrus Arms the clientele are just beginning to wake up to the fact that Belz is not for drinking neat.  Modified with a large dose of Satmargarine greased into the palms, and sprinkled with some chasidus from the Grand Rebbes to produce a single malt-like drink, these two spirits blend together like blood and sandpaper.  It is basically just a power struggle, but why should we bring these noble chasidim down to our level ?  It is far more than just an ordinary un-holy power struggle.  It is a fight for who controls the funds of the Union and thereby the levels of blood pressure and religious excess for 21st century yidden all over the velt.  So you can see why all this is so important.  And fraught with kedusha.

   But the best part of it all is that these 2 great branches of chasidus, warring for turf like nobody's business, are related by marriage to eachother and to other dynasties to boot.  Does the wife of the Grand Rebbe of Belz speak to her counter-parts from Satmar or Vishnitz?  Do any of them speak to that other chasidic rov, the one from Golders Green with the Well & Good Arms that poses as a mikva in his back garden?  Or are they all on skype and text?

   As a lady who does occasionally drive past the odd mikva (its on my way to Sainsbury's), I dare to suggest that the JT starts producing some news about the Anglo-Jewish orthodoxy of which that paper claims to be the 'voice'.  So far this whole saga has only been gleaned off the internet!  Loshon hora is one thing; public interest debate is quite another.  (Although it is just dawning on me that the Tribune might well be an arm of the Union rather than a news paper, but we'll save that for another stream).